Stacy Filocco's blog

Love Letters- My MTC Experience

Dear J,

Nervous, uncertain, you hid your fears through constant joking; the first to point out someone else’s mistake and the last one to stop laughing.  I knew it was a façade but the depth of what it was covering was unimaginable.  Deep down, are you a nice person, I questioned.  Are you really this cruel or is this just good-natured teasing?  You sat me down, you told me your plight.  “Will you adopt me?” you asked, and I knew that it was the most serious request I had ever received.

I was 21, 2 months removed from college where my biggest concern was the occasional paper that needed to be written, choosing between going to the baseball game or sleeping in, whether I should get frozen yogurt at the dining hall.  Here, a request for my help, having known me but a few weeks.  I can’t even say that you saw something in me; you just thought that anything would be better than what you had. 

You made it real for me, for the first time.   I could care for others and, even if I wasn’t ready to, others were expecting this from me.  The first few weeks had been a blur of preparation and lesson plans, khaki pants, navy shirts, school lunch, and long car rides.  Beneath the shiny veneer of “new school year” there was much more to be seen.  There were truths hidden beneath uniforms that I could never know, most of which I wouldn’t want to.  You showed me hunger- physical, emotional, spiritual, and I could only offer to fulfill the first, and only during the week at that.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart but there is no way that I can adopt you,” I said.  The next words out of my mouth were going to be, “I can barely take care of myself right now,” but the inadequacy of those words silenced me.  We sat there, both knowing that this would happen, both simply wanting the problem go away.  You had pushed me where moving 1000 miles, signing a contract, teaching at summer school had not; you pushed me off of the ledge into the free-fall of adulthood and the responsibilities seemed to be propelling me downward that much faster.

Ever since I was a little girl I have wanted to adopt a child.  We both know it couldn’t have been you.  But some day it will happen, at least I can promise you that.

Dear A,

Watching from just far enough away you seem like any other high schoolers.  A group of girls, wearing a variety of exercise apparel, working out the steps to a choreographed routine, stopping occasionally to try and keep the few boys involved from becoming completely distracted.  “Do you get it?” “I need help,”  “Here watch me,” your body language says as you work out the kinks and the groundwork is laid for a structure of unknown proportions.  Your smiles are those of cooperation, of understanding- when a step comes together, of pride- when your suggestion links to a clap, to a stomp, and the surprising grace of fluid movement returns to this seemingly ragtag group.

 It becomes obvious to me that I am no more in charge of the direction of the combination of these steps than I am for anything else in your lives.  I am an audience of one, in some ways privileged to observe the formation of such building blocks, but not recognizing yet how it will eventually develop into a cohesive piece.

This is practice.  Choreography is sometimes carefully and sometimes haphazardly coming together as these high school juniors become completely immersed in another school year and piece together the motions that will bring them closer to adulthood. 

The final run-through of the day approaches and you dash off; your cartoon backpack in hand.  The group continues without you and I become concerned that you have not returned.  You left abruptly, although no one seemed surprised.  I wait, understanding that it is not the outsider’s place to draw attention to what appears to be missing. 

You return, although it takes a moment to recognize you.  You slide into your spot as the final practice of the day commences and you are no longer the excitable high schooler that you were just a few minutes before; jewelry reflecting the fluorescent gym lighting, braids swinging as you lose yourself to the dance.  You have returned in a Wendy’s uniform, over-sized dark polo, hair tied back, ready to be put under a hat.  You dance the same but this time I am captivated, not by the youth and joy and energy of the prior run-throughs but by this 17 year old girl who is not thinking about anything beyond the next 5 minutes and remembering her steps.

You can’t understand what you showed me that day.   I had been looking for the big picture: where does each step lead, what will follow it, how will it look as a finished product?  The “big picture” was so much bigger than that.  It was that hint of the outside world, what really might be to come for you, that made me realize the importance of the coordination of each individual step.

Dear L,

I know karma exists because I am cursed/blessed with the loudest laughers.  You laughed and you had to get out of your seat so that your body could absorb the strength of your laugh.  The laugh was so powerful it could not merely be released through your mouth but appeared to explode out from the center radiating out through your extremities.

I have always chosen laughter.   It is a choice, sometimes made more consciously than at other times.  I loved the laugh from the first time I heard it; it filled the room with energy, it was completely un-self-conscious; you had given over completely to joy.  I laughed; others laughed, we moved on, a bit lighter for having let something out into the world.

You told me one day that you chose laughter too.  You told me your pain; you showed me your tears.  Sometimes I can hear it- that moment’s hesitation, can see it- the look to me for reassurance, can sense it- on those days where a smile is as much as can be mustered.  But you have made that choice.  It is why you succeed; it is why you will continue to do so.  More than anything else, this is your success.  You cannot choose much but you have chosen this.

This is not an easy choice that you have made- it takes dedication, it takes strength.   However, the rewards are great, for laughter feeds the soul, not just of yourself but of those around you as well.  You create your own small pocket of joy that will help to sustain you and though not impenetrable, it is strong.

You have helped me choose laughter and for that I am grateful daily.

 

To my students of the past two years, you have shown me more love than I could have imagined. 

I hope I have shown you the same.

Filocco

Dear Incoming First-Years

@font-face { font-family: "Cambria"; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 10pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }

Dear Incoming First-Years,

Congratulations, you are about to embark on an incredible experience.  Personally, I have found my decision to join Teacher Corps to be one of the best of my life- I hope that after your two years you will say the same.  If I could offer one piece of advice for enjoying (yes, this is possible) the next two years it would be to take some time for introspection before you come down. I can tell you that you won’t have much time for this in the next two years yet you will find yourself doing it constantly.  It’s good to have a strong starting point.

The reason that I suggest this is that I believe knowing yourself is the key to succeeding in this program.  This is not to say that you won’t change dramatically as a result of this program and that you should come in with hardened opinions or set ways.  To the contrary, I think that having a firm handle on yourself will actually make these adaptations easier.  What I mean by this is that you must be confident in yourself.  Just like when presenting information to a class, the better you know the information, the more confident you will be in presenting it.  The same goes for yourself.  The better you know yourself the easier your experience will be. 

You should be prepared to be critiqued on absolutely everything, from the moment you arrive.  It will begin with your Team Teachers at summer school and continue into the fall with your co-workers, your administration, and most brutally, with your students.  The way you speak, your word choices, your facial expressions, your handwriting, even the relative size of your kneecaps (completely unsolicited, a student once told me that mine were fat) will be up for discussion.  In order to prevent yourself from going on a knee-cap slimming diet it is critical that you recognize yourself for who you are.   There’s really no use in trying to be anything else because your students are the most discerning judges of character and they will know when you are being genuine.  You won’t be cool and you won’t want to be.  All you can be is yourself. 

Along with knowing yourself, I suggest that you take these moments to make some other very important observations about yourself.  These include, but are not limited to:

            How good are you at waking up in the morning?  What puts you in a good mood in the morning? What puts you in a bad mood?

            What do you like to eat?  Can it be purchased at Wal-Mart?

            How often do you go to the bathroom during the day?  (If you have never had to be aware of this you will soon become acutely aware.)

            Who do you enjoy talking to?  Who can you talk to when you are frustrated?  Who do you know that is a good listener?  Who tends to make you more frustrated?

            Do you enjoy alone-time when you feel stressed or do you prefer to be around people?

Most importantly, ask yourself, what makes you happy?  In my opinion at least, the key to Teacher Corps is knowing how to make yourself happy.  Allowing the emotions of 150 teenagers dictate your mood can be a costly mistake.  Figure out what it is that makes you happy on a consistent basis, whether it is talking to a friend on the phone, listening to music, exercising, watching movies, cooking, reading, anything. 

You may find that a combination of these things works for you but it’s important to start thinking about.  Remember, there is no reward for the most suffering.  You will be a much more effective teacher if you are not an angry teacher. 

Finally, remember that you signed up for this experience because it would be challenging; in the end, that’s what makes it so great.

 

Stacy

The Kids Are Alright

@font-face { font-family: "Cambria"; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 10pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }

After reading my blog posts from the beginning of my first year I realized that my main concern was not teaching Spanish (though I had never done so), student achievement (admittedly this should have been way up there), or a lack of resources including a computer or textbooks (in hindsight I probably should have been more concerned about this).  My main concern was management.  Summer School had done a sound job of stilling this fear in me.  Throughout summer school, the largest class that I had had was about 16 students.  Role-plays were terrifying and included “students” standing on desks, arguments that quickly escalated into cussing at the teacher, and lots of fights. 

Entering my first day of school I anticipated all of these things occurring simultaneously.  Imagine my surprise when I had excellent attendance, quiet students, and an orderly schedule.  I was anxiously awaiting the other shoe to drop…and it didn’t.  I was so fortunate that my students were ready to learn that all of a sudden my focus had to turn to my lessons.  In a blog post from early in the school year we were told to write three goals for the semester.  Due to my students’ reasonable behavior, my goals focused on the content of my lessons which I was quickly realizing was going to be a lot of work without any framework for structuring units or lessons. 

My first goal was to better utilize my resources.  Receiving my textbooks in the middle of October meant that I didn’t have the appropriate amount of time to familiarize myself with all that they could provide.  During summer school, we never used textbooks, we made up all of our own resources, so this was completely new to me.  Since then I have written my curriculum based heavily on the content of the textbook.  I have changed the order of certain units and I have significantly supplemented some aspects of the textbook/workbook/quiz/test  combination to better suit my students’ learning styles.  Generally, I feel that I have been successful in achieving this goal.

My second goal was also related to lesson development.  I wanted to make my lessons more cumulative.  To this end, utilizing the textbook/workbook/quiz/test combination has been a wonderful resource.  The lessons build on themselves because vocabulary is reused and my tests and quizzes are already made before I begin teaching.  Prior to receiving these resources I was creating stand-alone lessons each day with no clear endpoint in mind.  These resources have saved my life.

My third goal was to be viewed as an adult within the school.  This continues to be a point of focus for me.  My students are very funny and I am often the audience for their jokes.  This, in itself, does not bother me; I like to enjoy my students’ personalities and I think that laughter can make a repetitive grammar lesson much more entertaining.  Unfortunately, not all students know where to draw the line when it comes to making casual comments.  I have not had a specific incident to this end but it is still a concern that students take me seriously.  Thankfully, my serious voice usually comes as such a surprise that students respect it.  I have noticed a significant difference between the attitudes of my new students and the class of students that I taught last year.  My new students tend to be much more respectful.  I am sure that there is a slew of reasons for this including me having been there last year, me being a year older and more experienced, and these students simply not having known me for a year already.

Overall, I think that my concerns about management were well founded.  I know that some students that are excellent in my class are terrors in other teachers’ classes.  I cannot put m finger on exactly why this is the case but I know that if their behavior was reversed I would not have been able to focus so much of my efforts on content.  Even when talking to othe Teacher Corps teachers I think that my students are exceptionally good kids.  Mr. Jackson told me that this would be the case when I arrived but I was too nervous to believe him.  “Welcome to the best school in Marshall County,” he said to me, in his usual greeting of newcomers to the schoo, “These are the nicest kids you’ll ever have the pleasure of teaching” he finished, and I think that I would be hard-pressed to contradict him.

That Kid

In talking with Christine Breaux the other day, I think that I recognized something important about my own personal motivation.  Christine and I were discussing how we enjoyed talking to individual students every day, often about silly things, perhaps before school or between classes.  We mentioned how important these conversations were to us and that, on some days, they were definitely the high light of the day.  "You know," she said, "there was a teacher when I was in school that I really liked.  I would always try to make short conversations with her outside of class and I remembering being so excited when I talked to her."  "It's funny," she continued, "being on the other side now.  I wonder if those conversations were just as meaningful to her as the were to me?" 

This conversation evolved into a discussion of the fact that there are certain kids that we literally come to school every day just to see.  I recognized this phenomenon last year as I realized which students were actually listening to what I was saying, dare I say hanging on to my words?  I taught for them, I taught to them, I taught to continue to interest them.  This though, what Christine and I were discussing, was different.  These are not just students whose academic interest inspires me, these are students that I feel such a connection with that their absence on a given dayfor example, will affect me.  A few weeks ago I was extremely tired and I knew exactly which student I needed to see in order to get my day started off correctly.  I ran into her in the office soon after, she greeted me with her usual, "Heeeeeeeey!" and I was back on track.

Recently, one of this handful of students that are at the core of my daily motivation, has been having an extremely difficult time.  Problems at home have turned worse and they are, in turn, affecting her relationships at school.  The other day, after refusing to do work during class, I asked this student if everything was alright and she burst into tears, although she said that she did not want to talk about it.  To watch a child cry in front of you is a powerful thing.  It pained me deeply that she would be this upset and there was nothing that I could do. 

My usual thought process, when it comes to students having problems, is to not ask about them and to help by providing something of a distraction.  Generally, I think that students respect being able to escape their problems, certainly there are any number of individuals ready to obsess about them.  Additionally, I hate knowing about problems that I can't fix. 

Knowing that I could not resolve this students' issues, and not wanting to ask her again if everything was alright (knowing that clearly it was not), I realized that I would have to do something else for this student.  As her bad mood persisted this week, I realized how much it was affecting me.  I was upset because she was upset; I could see her isolated from the other kids at school and I knew that she was not getting support at home.  When she walked in to my classroom particularly angry seventh period on Tuseday,  I made it my mission to make her smile. 

Normally, this student is extremely enthusiastic, very social and popular, and she laughs at all of my jokes (which may have something to do with the reason I like her so much).  However, she is also incredibly stubborn and I knew that she had set her mind to not enjoying anything that day.  But it was seventh period, and I knew that there was no way she had had even a good moment that day. WARNING: CLICHE ALERT All of a sudden, Spanish was not that important.  I taught the lesson, just as I had the rest of the day, but it didn't matter as much whether the class go it.  This was my kid, the one that I come to school to see every day, the one that I teach to, the one that I look for in the morning in the cafeteria to make sure that she's there.  And she needed to want to be at school as much as I needed her to be at school.  So I worked for it.  And it happened.  I had never been so single-minded in a class period.  and I probably creeped her out because I kept looking at her after every comment to see if she had smiled yet.  But by the end of the period she had smiled several times and had even laughed once or twice. 

Maybe I didn't need that smile as much as she needed it, but I was close.  Maybe tying such importance to the feelings of a sixteen year old, an age at which feelings change in the blink of an eye, is a dangerous way to go about one's day.  Then again, passion, which I've found to be a requirement in this field, is built on emotion.

Should you join MTC?

To answer these questions I would like to reflect on how I answered these questions last year:

Why should you join MTC?

2010- Every single interaction with a student has the possibility of affecting that student.  So many little things, things that might be taken for granted, affect your students.  Simply showing up every day, saying hello to a student in the hall, or attending an extracurricular activity will have an affect on students  In my opinion, it is nearly impossible to not have an effect on those students. It really and truly is the smallest things that affect students, things that you forget seconds after they occur but may stick in students' minds for a time to come.

2011- I stand by what I wrote last year.  The greatest part about MTC is having the opportunity to work with students immediately, on such an intimate level.  Few programs can offer this sort of experience.

Why should you not join MTC?

2010- If you are not a flexible person you should not join MTC... If you are not an optimistic person you should not join MTC... If you are not interested in challenging yourself on a daily basis then you probably should not join MTC.

2011- I would add to this list a few other qualities that I have recognized as being especially critical to enjoying the MTC experience.  In addition to flexibility, you will need unlimited amounts of patience, with yourself, with others, with institutions, with bias, and ignorance, and social "norms" that are not quick-changing.  A sense of humor is also key.  Potential frustrations can be seen in a humorous light if you permit them to be seen as such.  Humor will significantly help you enjoy each day.  If you do not have the ability to laugh at yourself you will struggle.  Dumb things will be said, power cords will be tripped over, and great ideas on Sunday evenings will blow up  in your face on Monday morning.  All of these can be dealt with through laughter or tears.  If you tend toward the tears I don't know that you will last long.  FInally, I would add that you can not be selfish.  You will give and work and serve and you will probably not receive any sort of thanks or recognition.  If that bothers you then this program probably is not for you.  When it comes down to it, that's not why the program is here anyway.

Two Keys to Success

@font-face { font-family: "Cambria"; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 10pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }

Feeling like you completely lack support can be an incredibly isolating experience.  If, removing yourself from that situation, you still feel like your experience was not valued, it would seem natural to harbor feelings of resentment and confusion.  This is what I took away from the article about Teach for America (TFA) teachers who quit and go completely unrecognized by the program.  If I were in this position I would be extremely frustrated.  Here you are, wanting to do something good, you receive training from an institution and are then shipped off to various parts of the country where your training will vary in applicability to work in a job that is so challenging that no one who has been “properly” trained for the job will accept the position.  (With unemployment so high, this is, perhaps, the most ringing endorsement for how difficult the job is.)

One thing that I noticed in the anecdotes in the article was that the TFA teachers did not have a strong relationship with their supervisor/coordinator.  I would like to think that with MTC being so small it is much easier for personal relationships to play a role in gauging an individual’s satisfaction or lack thereof with their daily performance. 

I think that two things are the biggest indicators of whether a teacher will be able to stay at their school for two years: preparedness and sense of community.

Certainly, the summer training that we get is beneficial in preparing us for the school year.  Generally, preparedness plays a huge role in a person’s ability to stay with teaching.  Classes, particularly the content-area classes could be much more helpful in assisting with teacher preparation.  For example, most of the professors who teach these classes have never been in a critical-needs classroom and therefore are not familiar with a. the content area that needs to be taught vis a vis the state test b. the level at which content should be taught c. the management issues that will prohibit certain types of activities.  I think that it would be beneficial to have these teachers visit the schools that we teach in and/or observe/evaluate one of our lessons.

I think that a greater sense of Teacher Corps community could be developed to assist with many of the issues faced by overwhelmed first-years.  For example, I have noticed that Teacher Corps teachers like to plan their own lessons from scratch.  While this may be admirable, it is often beneficial to use the ideas, lesson plans, and assessments of others.  They’ve already tried these things out and, in some cases, found them proven to work.  There’s plenty of work to be done, there’s no sense reinventing the wheel for every lesson when there are multiple Teacher Corps teachers teaching the same subject matter.

Community can also be fostered in the social sense.  Last year, attending Wednesday night dinners in Oxford was a great way for me to have the opportunity to talk to people that I didn’t see every day and to hear about the experiences of my fellow first-years at other schools.  Additionally, we often talked about non-teaching subjects at these dinners.  This was key as it provided an hour or two hour window in which my mind was free from school concerns.  I think that Teacher Corps could somehow facilitate this sort of check-ins a means of assessing teachers’ attitudes and dispositions. 

If the work that we are doing is truly as important as we believe that it is then we deserve the support required to complete it.  To me, the idea that someone could walk away from a teaching program with out recognition from the program is deeply disrespectful of any efforts that that person put in.

Portfolios: It's About That Time of Year!

@font-face { font-family: "Cambria"; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 10pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }span.style { }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }

One of the most noticeable aspects of the portfolios is their physical appearance.  Several of the portfolios (Ryan’s and Karl’s come to mind) incorporated a thematic element that was reflected in the design of their sites.  These thematic elements added another level of analysis that made looking at the portfolio all the more interesting.

While I found all of the portfolios to be easily navigable, some were extremely user friendly.  Aaron Johnson’s portfolio, for example, literally highlighted major points.  Additionally, he used something of an outline format at points to make the information easy to pick out.  When reading a website, one does not necessarily want to read wordy paragraphs.  In many instances a list, or a question and answer format similar to Karl’s, are great ways to provide easily accessible information.

As usual, I was especially impressed with Karl’s work.  His ability to use the question and answer format is extremely impressive.  I remembered him doing this very effectively for his presentation last spring when he used toondo to create a Connie Chung-esque interview with himself.  I think that this method is extremely effective in getting information across as there is no ambiguity in terms of his subject.  For example, Karl asks himself “Did you ever think that you would be a teacher growing-up?” and “[If you disliked school so much growing up] why did you join this program?” 

What I find most admirable about Karl’s portfolio is his tone.  His portfolio is not an homage to all that he accomplished in his two years (which I happen to know was quite a bit) but rather a reflection on how his experience matched with the expectations he had for his two years. He laments the things that he was not able to accomplish but they do not vilify him.  In fact, it is amazing how he is able to simply reveal the shortcomings of being human in a nearly impossible situation. 

Of course to have a community, it takes people that are willing to stick around and build one.  Sometimes I wish I had what it takes to be such a person.  But, I just don't...

The above quote is a perfect example of Karl’s reflective tone.  He truthfully analyzes his surroundings, recognizes the potential for a solution, and honestly states that he will not be the one to instigate this change.  This is not an admission of defeat; it is simply an admission of reality.  The challenges faced are extremely difficult to combat and clearly there are few who feel up to the task; if there were, Teacher Corps probably wouldn’t exist.

Baby it's Cold Outside

@font-face { font-family: "Cambria"; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 10pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }

After Christmas Break the students need to be re-trained.  For me, the first day is usually all right, it is the second and third days that the students really push the rules.  The first day back from break is a great day to re-vamp your rules and add new ones or get rid of old ones that you do not enforce.  Last year, I added parameters for positive language and enforced them with writing assignments.  A rules quiz would probably not be a bad idea the first day back.

 Additionally, because January, February, and March can seem like long months with no breaks until Spring Break it is nice to give the students some sort of end point before then.  For example, you might introduce a new unit and tell them that you will be working on _______ for the next 2 weeks.  If you teach a state-tested subject, a reminder of the impending date is always important and a countdown may be appropriate.  I like to tie countdowns to objectives- we will be learning these three things and we have 3 weeks in which to learn them so we better get started.

One thing that is inevitable is that you will become much closer to your students.  The winter months can be long yet the days are extremely short and you become aware of the fact that you and your students spend more time together than either of you likely spends with anyone else. Unfortunately, along with familiarity can come a more casual attitude towards doing work as well as a more casual attitude from students regarding behavior.  It is of the utmost importance to push through this period and to maintain control; if that can be done, the rest of the year will be smooth sailing.

Over the break, I would definitely enjoy being away from school.  I found that I was actually quite overwhelmed by going home.  The architecture in itself was actually a bit overwhelming, as was being in a city, and being surrounded by people.  I definitely noticed how much I had changed in a short time period and how many comparisons and contrasts that I could make about nearly everything.  I would suggest limiting doing this for a few reasons.  First of all, people get really tired of hearing stories that start with, “In Mississippi…”.  Secondly, doing this will not excite you to return to school.  This will actually lead you to focus on many of the negative aspects of the area and school in which you work and in very few ways is this constructive.  Enjoy the vacation for what it is- a break and the opportunity to give your area some good P.R. so that someone will come visit you.

Just Livin' the Dream

@font-face { font-family: "Cambria"; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 10pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }

6:05 am- Hit snooze button

6:15 am- Hit snooze button

6:25 am- wake-up

6:40 am- pick-up school bag and breakfast on the way out the door

7:03- Arrive at school

7:05- Plug in computer to LCD projector, hole-punch any papers to be handed out, look over activities for the day

7:25- Duty in the cafeteria

7:40- school begins

7:40- 10:26- Spanish 1, Spanish 2, Spanish 1

10:26- 11:19- breathe, make copies for tomorrow, finish powerpoints for tomorrow

11:19- 3:13- Spanish 1, lunch, Reading Period, Spanish 1, Spanish 1

3:13- 3:45 tutoring

3:50- drive home

4:15- eat snack

5-gym/run/ volleyball practice/ grocery store

7- eat dinner

8- watch TV/ finish powerpoint/grade

9:30- shower

10:15- read in bed

This schedule is more or less the same as my schedule last year except that last year from 4:15- 6 I would watch TV and work-out and from 6 on I would plan or grade.  Basically, 1 year of experience has earned me about 2 and a half hours of free time.  I anticipate having more free time in the afternoons in the upcoming semester as we will not have homework for our Ole Miss classes.

Smile- not a 4-letter word

Last year, a few people gave us the advice that we shouldn't smile before Thanksgiving (or maybe it was Christmas, I can't remember).  This suggestion terrified me as my previous record for consecutive MINUTES without smiling was 6.  Thankfully, before school started I realized that the most important tool in terms of classroom presence was to not put up a front.  Students, like most people, hate fakeness and they are acutely trained to spot it in anyone.  Although I was nervous about too much smiling, I knew that I would never be able to maintain a straight face in the classroom and would have to accept the fact that I would be smiling during the day.

THroughout the past year and a quarter I have figured out the best way to balance smiling with enforcement of rules, consequences, and a serousness regarding classwork.  I realized that I had reache da balance that I was comfortable with the other day when I passed a writing assignment across the room to a student and both he and I were laughing.  I tried, in the beginning of the year, to cover some of my smiles or laughter with the nearest textbook or papers to be passed out.  This was largely unsuccessful and I've begun to simply let my positive emotions show. 

It's interesting how emotion from the teacher provides encouragement to the students but it seems as if the students notice that I am enjoying whta is giong on they are more likely to remain engaged.  Certainly, this plan can backfire.  Occassionally my laughing will lead students to think that it's time to crack jokes or "act a fool".  This quickly leads me to become very serious and the mood swing is very off-putting to the students.  I've realized that it is my choice to permit this sort of environment and I must deal with the consequences (the occassional wildness) because, in the end, it is worth it to me to smile every day at work.  It's a large part of what inspires me to return the next day.  It's like the e.e. cummings quote, "The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."

Recent comments that have struck my fancy include:

1. me: What is the plural of octopus?

student: Squids!

2. student: The dog peed on my Do Now.

3. me: Why is calculadora a feminine word?

student: Because sometimes a caluculator a person and then... wait a minute... no.

4. After smelling tar, a whispered comment: I bet this what her house smell like.

5. student: You must hate kids.  You got kids?